2 Wheels out of Phuket

So Phuket, or more particularly the Soi Bangla, Patong beach area with its seedy nightlife, world class all ladyboy national netball team and condom strewn beach has proved to be a little disappointing.

So I'm asking myself, is there any redeeming feature? Is there anything that Phuket has to offer that would make the visit all worthwhile? Then it struck me. What's better than tramping around Thailand in the sun? Exactly....hooning around Thailand in the sun on a sports bike. Of Course!

There are no insurance considerations over here, you just hand over your cash and your passport and basically if you crash it (and live) you pay for the repairs.

Riding here is also different. It's a land where indicators and looking are regarded as strictly optional. It's one of the few downsides of Buddhism from an outsiders point of view, if it's your Karma to crash then you will and if you buy the farm as it were then don't worry you'll be reincarnated.

Motorcycles and scooters abound here and it's a wonder they don't die. It's like that scene from the Star Wars movie where all those X Wings and Tie Fighters come rushing at the screen in one big blur. I can only assume they use the Force over here otherwise the average life expectancy of a motorcyclist would be about 20 minutes.

The roads around Phuket turn out to be like a giant TT circuit, brilliant riding, rising, falling, continually twisting right round the coast of the island; absolutely stunning riding.

This Honda thrash wagon showed me what I had been missing in Phuket; Karon Beach and others further round the coast, quiet , pristine, unadulterated.

Final score for the days biking? 1 near pancake when a gigantic black toyota hilux 4x4 decided that I simply wasn't there at a roundabout; 2 rear wheel skids locked up when traffic decided to stop for no appearant reason and with no consideartion for the fact that I was doing 60 (ish) behind them.

Ok, well I've had enough of Phuket, I'm off to Koh Phi Phi, I wonder if this bike floats....

See you again soon, I hope. May the Force be With You.

Mr C.

Lady Boys Large it Up

Up until now I have only seen a handful of lady boys, however here in Phuket where brash is a kind of competitive sport, they are actively promoted.

There is a specific bar on Soi Bangla where lady boys dance for your pleasure and it is actively promoted as an attraction. There is consequent overflow onto the street and for the first time since arriving in Thailand I'm almost literally surrounded by shemales in various stages of transformation.

Being of a shy and nervous disposition I decided to sit in the balcony of a first floor bar to gawp at the he-shes in the company of what I hope were dancing GIRLS.

It's hard to believe that some of these beauties started out as men. Austin if you're reading this is still not too late to start your dancing career. Just chuck on one of your mums old frocks and get down to Phuket.

It really is like a Sergio Leone classic down here, however it seems like harmless fun. The performers certainly seem to enjoy it. Apologies for the sideways video, I haven't figured out how to rotate it for playback!

I asked my hostess (at least I'm pretty sure "she" was a hostess) why there are so many trans-sexuals in Thailand. She was quick to point out that being a Buddhist country the core philosophy is "live and let live". People simply are not persecuted for being who they are. What kind of world would we live in if that was the guiding principle behind Christianity and Islam? So tolerance and accessibility to surgery make it possible for this who wish to to do so. Makes sense to me.

I was warned by my server that some TVs fund their surgery through prostitution but specifically by essentially robbing their clients. As you can imagine I was in no rush to repeat my 8 bottles of Chang incident and surprisingly drank very little in Phuket..

And finally on this subject:

That one second in from the right looks pretty hot.....

Right that's it, I need to scarper before I make a messy mistake. Yikes.

Next: 2 Wheels out of Phuket

Cheers boys and girls, and all those in-between.

MrC.

Phuket or Bust

This is the collection of sights that greeted my eye on arrival in Phuket:

It's like Blackpool on a bad acid trip. This is the short street called Soi Bangla just a hundred yards from actually rather nice hotel I'm staying in. As you can see it's wall to wall bars, go go bars, and the usual tawdry collection of sex shows. I'm stunned to note that food and drink is twice the price here as it was in Chiang Mai or Bangkok, in many places it's 3 times the price.

On the plus side I found these, which I'm buying as gifts for everybody this Xmas:

Mankini - is nice, you buy.

Fortunately the morning revealed a somewhat less seamy side of Phuket in the form of the beaches which were indeed wonderful.

This is my first ay on the beach since arriving in Thailand and in typical British fashion I over did it. I look like lobster thermidor in a hat strutting around the streets.

Don't expect much Thai food in Phuket it took all day to find what I can only assume are the only two family run Thai restauranmts in the Pattong beach area.

Right I'm off for an aloe vera massage in the vain hope that this will all stop stinging.

Next: Lady Boys Large it Up

Later, dudes.

MrC